It’s a struggle for authors, I’m sure. Some argue it needs to be there to be realistic. Others argue that it makes them a better writer to write around it. I don’t know where the truth lies, but it’s probably somewhere in the middle.

On the other hand, I was completely surprized when we had a meeting with my daughter’s 3rd grade teacher and she told us that she considers “sucks” to be a curse word, the kids in her class are not allowed to use it, and to please support that at home. I remembered when I was a little girl, my mom felt the same way, but I just forgot, because it is used so often now. Popular culture has gone so far in a certain direction that it’s hard to figure out where a reasonable line is. (I still object to a– though – my kids are not allowed to use that. I am actually disturbed by TV shows that use curse words in the titles – I didn’t even understand the title about the woman who got a B-.)

I try to point out to my daughter when a song would have been just as good without the curse word, and I note that the singer’s audience would have been bigger too, because then everyone could listen to it. On American Idol, the contestants have to change some of the words to popular songs like Adele in order to sing it in prime time without offending any families.

The main reason I wanted to respond though is to say that I have a similar issue with underage drinking in books. I will rate a middle school or young adult book lower and not give it to my kid if the main character drinks alcohol. If it’s a book that can’t be passed up, like “Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret,” then I will have a discussion about the character’s drinking with my daughter. I did not drink as a kid and I don’t think authors need to assume that in order to write a character that feels “true,” they have to write that the kids are drinking at a party. Plenty of people don’t drink in high school, and reading about it just makes it seem that much more like all kids do it. There are plenty of things characters must be doing that authors don’t discuss, so I don’t think whether they drink or not has to be included. (Unless the point is that someone got drunk, drove and died, ruining the lives of everyone around them. Then, you pretty much have to include the drinking. But that’s not a middle school book anyway.)

Thanks for the opportunity to reflect on this!